MORAL OF THE STORY: SPITTIN GAME
01/08/2018
Let me tell you a story:
A month or two ago, I performed at this gospel event with my university gospel choir.
(I actually made a post about it so..check that out!)
I came across this absolutely BEAUTIFUL dude.
Gorgeous dark complexion.
Tall.
A drummer.
Could dress.
An award-winning smile.
AND he was God-fearing!
..like this boy was truly mesmerizing and I was shook.
I rarely get boy-crazy, so this was a pretty big moment for my dramatic side.
I immediately start overthinking and reading into his "signals".
He stared at me a lot during the mass choir practice (probably because I creepily stared at him).
..and that's literally the ONLY sign I received but...
I told my friends Diana and Jas that he was good looking.
We all begin to boost the situation and I begin to stress more about not talking to this boy.
I eventually find myself waiting for my golden opportunity to approach him, but alas!
My feet aren't even trying to budge. What a bust.
So I end up asking Jas to go be my wing woman and reel him in for me.
I have never, ever asked any of my friends to hook me up with someone so...
this day was filled with new experiences. She finally goes up to him to discuss me.
I am SHAKING in my mules, honey.
Thinking to myself:
"Did he see me?"
"I hope not because I look like a watered down mess."
"Why did I choose THIS wig today??"
Jas finally comes back and tells me that he's taken and that he has his own podcast and he's discussed girls shooting their shots with guys, so I should've just approached him myself.
This immediate RED, embarrassed feeling rushes over my face. I can literally feel the warmth coming from my cheeks. I was pressed about not talking to him, but I was even more pressed because I missed a networking opportunity! He's literally doing what I want to do! The night ended with me face-palming myself the ENTIRE ride back to TSU.
The reason why I wanted to start off with this story is to introduce my main point. There’s this fear/obstacle that keeps popping up in my life and it’s shooting my shot with guys...like I’ll see a good looking guy and realize we share a lot of the same interests but I never approach them because I’m just too awkward. Overall, my approach to guys is to not approach them at all. I've heard that I intimidate guys, so if you approach me, I respect it (even if I'm not interested) because it shows your confidence. I think that's just the leo within me.
Anyway, since I've been in college, the "approach me yourself" mentality for both sexes has REALLY hit me. I've come across entirely too many dudes that have made me go "hmm..I wanna get to know him". For example, this one dude in my English class I thought was so fine and intriguing, but NEVER told him or this guy I met during an extra credit assignment. Someone once told me "If you fear it, it'll keep popping up until you face it." and that is EXACTLY what this is..just a repeat of the same obstacle.
Although I’m not really looking for a relationship and I haven’t had intentions of building something with those guys, some “game” or confidence in talking to a guy or girl you find attractive is still a useful tool. I think that’s my next step in boosting my confidence more. I’ve done all this bold stuff that no one my age could even comprehend the idea of stepping out of their comfort zone to do, but I can’t give a dude a simple compliment or exchange social media info with them. It's not just in romantic, flirtatious situations either; the same obstacle pops up in my career too. I'll meet a really cool person that I envision myself working with on a creative project, but I don't slide them a business card.
Moral of the story is..
#1: Be confident/Step out of your comfort zone
That's a huge part of shooting your shot! You have to be able to let go of your insecurities, stop thinking so hard, and just do it. I have a couple of friends who excel in approaching guys and their typical answer is that they have zero game and they just do it. The same thing applies to the career aspect of "spittin' game". You can't be afraid to be bold and take the initiative to create connections. Release that weariness and just GO for it.
#2: Work with what you got/Go get your blessings!
Before school started, we had this motivational speaker come and talk to the freshman class. He asked everyone in the audience who could sing and there were a ton of hands raised (including myself). Then, he asks us to come up and sing. Only two people came up (not including myself). I had that mentality of "Eh..not in the mood. I already have an opportunity set anyway". My friends pushed me to go up and I declined. The person who got the most applause ended up receiving money from the speaker. I began to face-palm myself. Afterwards, the speaker began to talk about all the hands that were raised during the first question and the drastic lack of participation after the second one. The sole lesson was to use your talent and receive your blessing. In relation to spitting some game in romance, use what you got. Wow them with your personality. You could be missing out on someone great! Even if you strike out, you tried. Career wise, reach out to people that you feel will benefit you. Take on any and every opportunity to wow whoever you want to do business with. Use your skills to be innovative in your field.
This concludes this blog post!
I wish you the best with your romantic endeavors and your business ventures!
I hope that my epic fails have helped you out in some way.
Much love,
Janaya.
